I shouldn't still
by Strawberri Sins
Summary: Lost love- ginny, harry and draco....someone wins the girl..the other loses the girl forever.or not...added 3rd chp..Round and round it goes..where it stops..only i know! Read and review! go on..click it..u know u want to..ill give u some cookies if u do!
1. I Cant help but love you

((Ok this is my first time writing song fic..so please grill me if its horrid. if not i will take a grilled cheese,pickles and a dr pepper! ))

((((((I own harry potter. I do..i really do I really do..no one can take him away from me::as she shouts from the window..hands wrapped around the bars of her insane room. )))))))

-This is a song fic of :white flag...ok ok i know..alot of pple are doing this song..but i wanted to..had to..not my fault::backs away from people with fire. -

There eyes met from across the room. 

:**_I know that,you think that I shouldn't still love you,or tell you that_**: 

It had been eight months. --------------------

Eight months since she had last seen those eyes. 

Those grey stormy eyes. 

The very ones that loved her and hated her all within ten minutes. Eight months since that day. 

That horrible day. 

((flashback to eight months ago. Right before Ginnys final year at Hogwarts.)) 

" Draco, I have been thinking" Ginny took her boyfriends hands within her own."Maybe..we should see other people" 

She looked down to her tattered white tennis shoes. She tried to be calm as she broke his heart. 

Those words broke her heart. 

-- the story-- The two of them had fought constantly back and forth for two years. Then one rainy day when they were stuck with detention all the anger had suddenly turned to love and passion. 

More then either had asked for. They had agreed to keep it secret. 

Because of this simple secret and them dating behind everyones backs......Harry Potter had fallen for the youngest red head of his best mate. 

One late augest evening he caught sight of her sitting on the wooden swing set in the garden. He could only think how pretty she was sitting there with a white tank top on and a pair of faded jeans. her hair hung loosely in a pony tail. Soft curly tendrils around her face. He took this very opertunitiy to tell her how he felt. 

"Gin..I ..well..er.. I like you...er..alot." he smiled softly. 

Ginny was extremely surprised,so much so that she could not find the words to say. 

How could she ever tell harry that she was dating his and rons worst enemy? 

Harry did the only thing he could think of and kissed her. 

Ginny fell into the heat of passion and let him kiss her. It was everything..soft..wet..not Draco....but before she could pull herself together....A tall figure adorned with platinum blonde hair riped him off of her and pushed him to the ground kicking him and beating him up badly.She had almost forgotten.

:ALMOST:

she had been waiting for draco that night for a secret meeting. She turned her attention back to the fighting boys. Harry got in some good punches before ron came and they beat the day lights out of him.It was then and there that she decided to end it with Draco. After the messy scene and a very beaten Draco,she realized it would never work. ever. It was horrible. 

(( (back to the break up scene) )))

Draco glared angerly at his girlfriend. Why would she choose him over me? He put his hand on her chin and lifted it so she was face level with his own. 

"Ohh,like I *SAW* you and potter snogging?" 

He stepped away from her and his voice was loud and deep "Well, good. I never loved you anyway. 

There are far better girls waiting in line for me. With that he turned and walked out of her life for good. 

After that night they never spoke or were face to face again. Until tonight. 

((end flashback. Back to eyes meeting)) 

In one moment. 

All that had been; the love, the happiness, the hurt had rushed back into her heart. 

But he hated her .She was not allowed to love him any longer. 

He moved on not even a week later with pansy. No. no! she should not still love him. 

::**_But if I didn't say it,well I'd still have felt it and where's the sense in that_**?:: 

Right then all Ginny could do was run/walk over to him. Mostly walk 

because of her muggle dress she had on. It was a soft lavender. silky to the floor. shimmered as she walked. Silver sandals on her feet. simple hair, down and curled sweetly.

When she reached him she threw her arms around draco's neck. 

Draco pushed her off of him with a snarl 

"What are you doing Weasel? Trying to get me in deep with Pansy? He just stared at her. 

She was awe struck. How......could....he think? I... she spoke softly "I was just being friendly" 

::**_I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder, or return to what we had::_ **

she looked around him and at his new girlfriend. 

Jealousy filled her stomach. Pansy was off talking with Blaise. She had on an emerald green dress. Halter top that dipped low in the back. The top part was made from the finest velvet with a hem under the breast the rest laid to her ankles made of satin. Her hair swept away from her face showing off her dark eyes. 

"Friendly? well why don't u be friendly with potter" with that he turned on his heel and strode away to his girlfriend. Place his hand around her waist he glanced back once . 

Why did she think they could ever be friends? 

How stupid of her. But somewhere deep down she knew.................she was still in love with the same Malfoy who sent her flowers and secret letters from an admirer. the same one who walked with her in the rain.

Played chess with her when she was sick. 

The one who broke her heart. 

::**_I will go down with this ship and I won't put my hands up and surrender, there will be no white flag above my door,Im in love,and always will be.::_ **

They had all been invited to Prof. Dumbledore's retirement extravaganza. 

She walked slowly over to the punch bowl. 

As she lifted up a glass to fill with punch. Another hand slowly grasped it. 

The own of the hand kissed her cheek. "Hi sweetheart" he purred into her ear. 

It was Harry. 

((((FLash back to a week after the gin/draco breakup.))))

"Gin, I don't care if you were seeing Malfoy. It doesn't change how I feel about you." 

To Harry's astonishment he was answered only with soft vial lips. Finally. He had what he wanted.

Ginny. 

((end flashback)) 

Ginny decided then, to date him. Not because she was over draco...although he sure moved on quickly with Pansy. No...She still loved him. 

She went out with Harry because she could. Not like with Draco how everything was secret. With Malfoy It was fun, but not what she wanted. Not really. Him yes, the secrets from her friends and family…no.

He was everything she had wanted. Except well. Not draco. But not everything in life is perfect. On the plus side...everyone loved him.Her family..everyone. 

They still were dating. 

"Hey yourself" She smiled at him. 

She heard someone gag. She looked over to see *him* 

He only glared at her. She looked back to find harry grinning ear to ear as if he had just stolen the snitch from draco. 

Then suddenly...Draco's glare turned into something else. 

She had seen it that same night he found Harry kissing her. Jealousy mixed with sadness. 

::**_I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again. And i cause nothing but trouble.::_ **

Pansy brought her back to reality "Honey" she moaned as she clung onto his arm.. 

"We do not want to be seen with *them* do we?" 

He looked like he was going to speak.He only let her pull him away. 

__

::**I understand if you can't talk to me again,and if you live by the rules of its over, then I'm sure that make sense.:: **

__

"Harry,lets dance" 

He nodded . she pulled him onto the dance floor and they began to dance. Some slow and mysterious was playing. She loved it. She rested her head on his shoulder. Taking in his aftershave; which smelled of spice. 

How could life deal her such cards? Here she was dancing with her boyfriend. And all she could think about was *him*....stupid Malfoy...Fate was playing a horrible trick on her. 

She loved harry..really..she did. but there was a part of her heart that still belonged to draco. How dare him. 

::::**_I will go down with this ship and I won't put my hands up and surrender, there will be no white flag above my door,Im in love, and always will be.::_ **

As she exchanged dance partners she smiled. Neville. He was nice. He had thinned out and was very handsome. They were good friends and he could now dance. She was glad she had the opportunity to dance with him. Mostly they talked about Luna and how he was going to propose to her on her birthday. 

Next she danced with her brother Ron. Who could only tell her not to mess it up with Harry because he was happy for them both. Then he went on about Hermione and some knew potion she had cooked up. Boring, but hey she wad having a good time. 

The music changed to a new song. She went to sit down but was pulled back by her best friend. Collin. they giggled and talked about the end of school and the new training school he would be attending. She herself would go on to become a healer. Then she heard all about his first date with Seamus. 

All the sudden Dumbledore yelled "Change parterns" 

So she did as told and turned into *his arms* What would harry think? did she really care? of course she did..right? 

::**_and when we meet, which I'm sure we will. All that was there..will be there still. :_ **

she turned to leave but he held her close. Not speaking. Just dancing. Only dancing. 

He then distanced himself a little from the closeness they shared. As if he just remembered what she did to him. She would have cried out::Im sorry..please please love me!!:: 

. 

****

:_Ill let it pass and hold my tongue::_

But Harry interviened.Asked for this dance.

She ran right to his arms. Safe and warm. Where she belonged.Yes..Right? 

__

::**and you will think Ive moved on:: **

The song ended shortly afterwards. The night came to an end. Harry led Ginny out into the cold air. 

"I have something to ask you Gin" He said as he sat her down on his lap. 

"yes harry" she looked into his green eyes..such nice eyes. 

"Well..We have been dating for a year and Well..er..Will you marry me?" 

Ginny blushed. She had no idea he felt that way of her. 

Well Malfoy..your turn is to late. In mere seconds everything that had happened in the last few years flooded her thoughts. 

Fine. I will love Harry. Always. Never ever You Draco Malfoy..never ever you again...no...but yes...a part of me will always love u still....but my heart. And my hand I will give to Harry. Harry Potter. 

"Yes Harry i would love to marry you." she kissed him on his lips and he returned it sweetly. 

They got up and walked away hand in hand. 

A pair of icy eyes watched the scene play out before him. So they are getting married. Angry,frustrated,jealous. He had lost her forever. He could never really let her go. No..He would always belong to Ginny. Always..even if he couldn't physically love her. 

**__**

::::I will go down with this ship and I won't put my hands up and surrender, there will be no white flag above my door,Im in love,and always will be.:: 

((Well…what do you think?? A few people think I should continue this instead of making it a one shot…what do *YOU* think? Let me know!! Please review!!))


	2. Should I?

So-should I make more? Or what?? Thank you to my reviewers!!! I had my beta fix it up a bit for me. Hope you all enjoy!!


	3. Need

Avril Lavigne - "Why"

Ok this is more like a story with a theme song…I think??!?! I don't know-u tell me-

'Ginny POV'

****

Why, do you always do this to me?

*Him* …she saw him looking at a book with red binding and gold lettering. 

****

She knew she would eventually run into him again. But did it have to be so soon, the day after the daily profit made a huge announcement of Harry and Ginny's wedding engagement. It had to take up the whole entire page didn't it? She sighed.

Of course marrying Harry had _sounded_ like a good idea 3 weeks ago when she said yes to him. But now…now it was different. Seeing him in that shop. Looking very ,very good. Hair all tousled from the wind. Cheeks had a slight twinge of color. Black really _was_ his color. 

****

  
Why, couldn't you just see through me?

Ginny pulled open the door, walked in as calmly as one could under these circumstances.

And draco looked over as the door signaled her presence with a sharp off key *ding*.

She tried to put on a nice casual smile. Her lips were fighting her to the death it had seemed. 

A smile of lost lovers grazed her face as Draco just stared at her briefly, shuffling from left to right. 

So I will talk to him. No biggie right? She walked over to him and said a polite "hello". One two passing by strangers would greet each with. 

He glared at her without batting one single long blond eyelash. "hello? No I do not think so Gin, Please stop all of this. I don't need your owls(so she had been sending him owls, trying to make peace with him) nor do I need your 'hellos'. He huffed. 

****

  
How come, you act like this

"Why, why can't we be friends?"

"Because, it doesn't work that way"

"And why doesn't it?"

"Is this some sort of attempt to talk to me"

"Is this some attempt to change the subject all together"

"I have to get going, my girlfriend is waiting for me."

****

  
Like you just don't care at all

He walked away from her ,without glancing back once , to the rest of the books. 

Ginny looked to the ground and back up again. 

He has to care…he does. She thought. She picked up the book he had been holding in his hands. ::Charms to mend the broken heart::

Could he had really been reading this…a sudden hope filled her heart. She snapped her head up just in time to see Draco snatch the book out of her hands. 

"Its for a friend." simply stated. 

And he walked back to the shelf he had been looking at. Ginny gave up her search for a book and decided to go home.

****

  
  
Do you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall?

As she arrived home ,she greeted her mother and took a glass of pumpkin juice to her room.

She took a long silver box from underneath her bed. She slowly opened it up, those damn memories…she knew they made her cry and made her felt a loss in her stomach…but she didn't care. She longed for the memories.

She took out a lavender muggle photo album and opened it up. Inside were 24 photos. Most were of Ginny and Draco and their time together. Although she could never show anyone because of the secrecy…. She felt the need to keep one anyway. 

She flipped to the 6th page. In it draco had his arms wrapped around Ginny's waist and in her lap was the very first present he had ever given her. A light brown teddy bear with big blue eyes with a large white bow. And on Draco was a homemade sweater of off white, that Ginny had knitted herself. 

She loved that photo most of all.

There was no way that he was over her. 

****

  
I could feel I could feel you near me, even though you're far away 

As she laid back on the bed she closed her eyes and thought of *Him*.

And in her mind their sweetest moments together felt as if they were happening all over again. 

Even though he was not around she felt him so close, as if he were right next to her. Holding her again ,kissing her ear in that sweet way he did. 

He could be at the end of the earth and she would still feel him. His pain, that she had caused. Hadn't that been what was best though? Honestly. .it was Romeo and Juliet…never could have worked out. This way his father was happy and well…her whole happy was happy. 

****

  


  
  
It's not supposed to feel this way

She must have drifted off because she was having that dream again. The one where they were in the park and feeding the ducks. It was a bright ,warm sunny afternoon. She was singing to him a soft tune of love and happiness. 

Then the gray storm clouds rolled in. He looked lost all of the sudden. Like he wasn't supposed to be there. 

A frown placed upon his face as his hand slide down her face to her chin. But. It was no longer Draco.. it was Harry and he was yelling at her. How could she do that. Why would she want a Malfoy… she suddenly looked down at her hand as she saw the ring on the left finger. 

She sat up in bed , tears rolled down her face. How could something so tiny and beautiful feel like a trap…something keeping her away from happiness for the rest of her life. Couldn't Harry make her happy? Or was it the other way around. How could one person make another person happy when they longed for someone else?

****

  
I need you, I need you

More and more each day

She walked over to the window and cried until she could no longer see. Her eyes were blurred over. She wiped away her tears and looked out into the evening. The stars had just started to twinkle………….. She laughed to herself…how could this be happening…She was still in love with him even if he wasn't in love with her. But now it was too late. She needed him. But he didn't need her. But Harry did. 

What would she do about Harry? Should she still marry him and just settle for second?

****

There was time for that another day, for now. Only sleep. 

****

  


**Many days have passed**

'Draco's POV'

****

  
It's not supposed to hurt this way  
I need you, I need you, I need you

Pansy was yelling at draco. 

"Why are you ending this Draco?"

"Because I can."

"Well that is no reason mister, Its her isn't it?

****

"And what if it is?"

"Fine. Goodbye" She stalked off. 

Draco smoothed over his robes and he turned swiftly to be face to face with *Her*.

How is heart ached, every passing moment. He thought that silly charms book would help. It didn't. 

"Draco"

He couldn't talk to her. He was afraid of what would happen if he did. Would he cover her in kisses with his betrayer of a mouth ?Or beg her back?

This wouldn't happen. 

"Gin-I thought I told you already" 

"I know. But I need you Draco's don't know why. Or how. But I do."

She then dragged him into a side alley. She kissed him. A simple chaste kiss on the lips. 

"Gin-I can't. If I start …I may not be able to stop ,and you are with potter."

"Kiss me one last time and tell me that it will never work for us and I will leave you alone till the end of days"

****

  
Tell me, are you and me still together?  
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?  
Tell me, why

He did as told and kissed the girl. Wrapping his arms tightly around her. Not wanting to ever let go. This kiss lasted 15 seconds. The happiest 15 seconds in his past 10 or so months. 

But they weren't together. It didn't change anything. He could tell her it would work, but he knew it wouldn't. It would never last forever…not a chance that his father would except her. 

"Why,why,do you want me to tell you things I can not tell you? I can not promise that our future will be clear or content. But I need you Ginny, I need you so much it aches. "

He tucked her hair behind her ears and kissed her all over her face. 

She smiled as tears filled her eyes. 

"But it might work. If you asked him, told him about us?"

"Perhaps, I will try anything once"

Ginny giggled "Great"

"I can not promise anything"

"I understand"

"What about Harry?"

She looked down to the ground as if something popped out from the ground.

****

  


Hey, listen to what we're not saying  
Let's play, a different game than what we're playing  
Try, to look at me and really see my heart

Draco lifted her chin, Would she leave potter for him? The same way she left draco for potter?

****

"Its ok ,Gin, you don't have to talk about it now"

She nodded and hugged him tightly. 

"I can see you for who you really are and I am glad that I have seen it. " she smiled then she asked……………….

****

"What about pansy?" she cocked her head a bit.

****

  
  
Do you expect me to believe I'm gonna let us fall apart?  
I could feel I could feel you near me, even when you're far away  
I could feel I could feel you baby, why  
\

Who was I kidding he thought. I never wanted pansy. Not for a minute. 

****

"Its over, She knew that I was still in love with my old flame"

Ginny gasped "She knew who it was?"

"no. no, I would never betray you like that and let he hurt you."

"Draco,You were always in my thoughts. Even when we were not together"

"Why?"

"I don't know"

****

They kissed and its such a shame they didn't see who was watching them secretly.

****

'Harry's POV'

****

  
It's not supposed to feel this way

Harry watched as draco and his Ginny kissed. No, she wouldn't do this to me. His fist rolled into balls. Anger spread across his face. 

She already promised me her hand. And I intend to keep it that way. 

****

  
I need you, I need you

He had wanted Ginny for so long. Worked so hard to get her. He needed her. \

"I need you Ginny, I wont let you go, not to him." he whispered.

**** ****

  
More and more each day

Some day she would understand that he loved her, and they belonged together.

He had worked so hard to break them up in the first place. Draco and Ginny wanted it to be a secret, but it hadn't been very much of one. Just because they didn't see anyone around when they were snogging in the astronomy tower, did not mean no one was there.

Harry had watched them one night when he was sitting under his invisibility cloak watching the stars. That's when he knew he had to have her. He felt a sudden need for her. 

****

It's not supposed to hurt this way  
I need you, I need you, I need you

It hurt him so bad seeing them now in the alley. He had to sit down and try not to throw up his lunch. The more she loved draco the more Harry needed her. The more intent he became in making sure they would never be together(Draco and Ginny)

****

  
Tell me, are you and me still together?  
Tell me, you think we could last forever?  
Tell me, why  


Maybe she is under a spell or something. 

We are not breaking up any time soon. He told himself over and over again. Anger working its way into his eyes. 

She had already promised him forever. He would hold her to the word.

****

  
So go and think about whatever you need to think about  
Go ahead and dream about whatever you need to dream about

That is it, he smiled. 

She is confused. Poor thing. She will remember where her heart lies. Who she belongs with. 

So let her settle this craving, get it out of her system. She would make up her mind better this way. Realize he could never make her happy. 

****

  


And come back to me when you know just how you feel, you feel  


She will understand her promise and come back into his open arms. They would be married and he will make her forget all about Malfoy. Oh yes. He would. 

****

I could feel I could feel you near me, even though you're far away  
I could feel I could feel you baby, why  


When he first found out about Ginny and Draco's secret relationship in school, He would always pretend that it was him she was kissing and not draco. 

And when he was snogging with Pavrati in the broom closet, he pretended it was Ginny. 

A way to feel her close to him even though she was on the other side of the castle probably snogging Malfoy.

****

Why was it so important for him to pretend it was her? He hadn't the slightest clue. 

****

  
It's not supposed to hurt this way

He cringed as he watched Draco Malfoy wrap his arms around Ginny. 

He was going to be sick alright.

****

  


I need you, I need you  
More and more each day  
It's not supposed to hurt this way  
I need you, I need you, I need you  
Tell me  


He _has_ to make her remember what she told him, she loved him. 

****

He needed to make her understand how much he needed her.

How it hurt to be apart from her. 

****

  
It's not supposed to hurt this way  
I need you, I need you  
More and more each day  
It's not supposed to hurt this way  
I need you, I need you, I need you  
Tell me, are you and me still together?   
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?  
Tell me, why 

They were not breaking up..no..never.

They would last forever. 

Because if they didn't. and Harry could not have her………………………..Well than no one else, especially a Malfoy,would have her either. 


End file.
